12 April 2009

11 May 06- When you can do nothing else but laugh.

First ,I am drunk whilst typing this, so be warned!!  Yes, I know I wrote this on the 10th and dated it for the 11th.  Get the fuck over it.  Okies?

Third,  I have been out drive drunking, or something.  I DID NOT hit, run into or over anything.  The car and it's passengers are FINE.  I repeat we are FINE!  Dumb, I know.  Well, I didn't know until I got home and realized I didn't turn the headlights on. hahaha!!!  Thank gawd for automatic headlights!! WEeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

Now, let me take you back.  I am going to Quinten Tarantino this shit.  My day started out with unfucking comfortable shoes which caused a blister on each of my cutsie lil feets.  Fuckers!

Around 5pm, I got a call from an insurance person asking if the wrecked car would be ready to be towed tomorrow.  Sure thing!  I just need to get my shit out of the car, no biggie.  Cool deal!  They were gonna pick the car up between 8 and 5 tomorrow.  Sahweet!

On my way home, I was talking to Roxann, who asked what I was doing after work, and if I wanted to go grab a few beers.  That sounds like fun!  Sure thing!  I'm IN!  Well, we continue our convo, and she deduces she's got a flat tire.  I'm about 15 minutes away from her, so I volunteer to come help out, because I am a kick ass friend.

I get there, and the fun begins.  How many blondes does it take to change a tire? LMAO!!!  Two!  It took the both of us to loosen the lugnuts on her tires because those bitches were on TIGHT!  I'm getting a fucking workout, trying to get these off, hoping people don't drive by because my shirt is a cowel neck and with my being leaned over, you can see down my blouse.  Peekaboo!!!

I check my missed calls, because someone had called, and that dumbass tries to put the spare doughnut on the car backwards!!!  I go help her.  We get the tire on, and I follow her to WalMarts to get her tired changed.

Okay, let me take you back a few hours.  I got a call from lender of current vehicle I am driving that they wanted said car back. FUCK!  Okay.  Fast fwd to my being at Walmarts, I leave Roxann to go find a rental car.  ALL of the fucking rental car places close at 6!  WTF Bitches?!?

I have a talk with owner of said car, and an agreement is made to let me keep it until I get my new car.  Nice!  Thanks for being a sweetheart!

During my drive to find a rental, I get ahold of the insurance guy to see where my money at!  Bitch betta have my money! LMAO!!  Yeah, I'm drunk, shut up!  Guy tells me check was sent to my house.  You dumbass!  You were supposed to send it to my place of employement!!!  ARGH!!  Okay, whatever, no biggie.  At least the dollas was sent out.  I can deal with that.

I drive to the house to get ready, so I can go get some beers with Roxann and turn on to my street.  I am horrified to notice that my lil wrecked car is MISSING!!!  Ummm...HellLOOO!?!/1  Where the FUCk is my car?

Those bitches towed it a day early.  I tried to call the girl back who called earlier about towing my car, but no one answered.  She asked me how to get to my house from Frankfort, so after I changed into more comfortable shoes, I headed my ass to Frankfort.  Halfway there, while talking to the Rox, she tells me the number is a Lburg#.  So I turn around.

I figure, if anyone towed my car, it's the same people who towed it from the wreck, because I think they are the only towing company in fucking town.  I call and get there number, call them and ask if they towed my car.  Jim Bob doesn't fucking have a clue if he towed my shit or not, but said if it was towed for insurance purposes, it would be at Copart.

He tells me how to get there, so I go.  I look around and can't see my car, so I get out and ask how I can get inside the aluminum siding fence to see if my shit is in there.  Tough shit.  They can't get me in until tomorrow, because that's when Copart opens. Fuck!  I just want to know if my fucking POS car is there!!!  I was about to scale the fence, until they told me since my car was towed after 5pm, it should be down "yonder."

I drive down and sure enough, I see my lil red ass fucked car.  I can't scale this fence, because it's got barbed wire, and looks like it could be electrical.  Nope.  Not worth it.

I call the boss to tell her I wouldn't be in tomorrow because of having to deal with this shit, but she didn't answer, so I texted her instead.  I called Roxie back, and she had to end up getting two new tires.  We both agreed we needed beer and planned to let each other know when we were ready.

I pull up to the house, change clothes, and log on to myspace to write about this shit, but the blogs weren't working.   Thankfully she calls and I go pick her up.

We go to O'chucks and have some beers and wings and a good ol time!  Now I'm at home and have about 40 blogs to read along with 20 emails.  Great...thanks.

Did I mention that each time we drove over the river it smelt like a couple thousand cats pissed in the water?  Ever smell a male cat's urine?  Uh Muh GAWD!!!  That's how the river smelt.  I wanted to vomit, but figured today was a bad enough day.

So, tomorrow, I'm staying home from work, going to strip every little piece of anything I can out of my car, hope that my check comes from the insurance company and go pick up my new ride.  Hope, hope, hope!!!

I'm out, I got a lot of shit to read, plus I have to take a piss again.  Once you break the seal, it's all down hill from there

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