12 Apr 09 - Long overdue

I haven't blogged much since last year.  My last blog was on myspaz on election day.  I had a job then. Granted it was a shitty, thankless job, but a job nonetheless.  I had my own apartment then.  Life was good.

A few weeks after election day I was fired from my job and have been unemployed ever since.  My fulltime job became looking for employment.  There were a few times when I would have had a job had it not been for a less than stellar credit report.  How the FUCK can a job refuse to hire you according to your credit history?  I mean, I can see the logic if I were going to work in a bank, insurance claims, or dealing directly with any kind of finances, but for a call center/help desk and Coca Cola?

I even thought I was getting hired at a dermatology office last December.  I shadowed one afternoon a few hours, then again the next day.  I was supposed to get paid for that, but never did and when the girl never returned my calls about the position, I just gave up.  What a shitty way to do business, you don't even have the balls to call me back or write a letter letting me know I wasn't needed for the position?  Assfaces!

I tried to keep my apartment for as long as I could, and finally in February I had to move in with my dad.  I don't even want to talk about all the bills I currently owe for not having a job for two months, yet having an apartment with utilities.

Living with my dad has been an infinite emotional roller coaster.  Some days are good and happy and cheerful and laughy, and others, not so much.  I will say, this past week or so has been pretty level and happy, with less crazy.  

The only craziness has been from the fat old bitch next door.  That crazy cow has been running around the street bare assed naked.  The past two days, she's been cutting down her half of the very pretty purple lavender tree along the fenceline of our house.  She is an evil hateful bitch.  When my dad told me what she was doing, I went outside and stared daggers through her soulless body.  Then he told me not to do that, it was mean.  Oh no, I wanted that crazy assface to know what she did wasn't cool, and now I'd be watching her.  She doesn't want to provoke me.  I will wish her ill will until her saggy ass end up in the hospital!

So, current life is boring.  I mean, I twitter and play myspace games, watch tv and do other unimportant shit, but I don't have any of the same liberties I had when I lived and provided for myself.  Like I could drink and smoke if and when I wanted.  Now, I can not.  If I wanted to go out and stay out for the night/weekend, I could and didn't have to report my whereabouts to anyone.  Now I do.  It's not that I mind, it's just different getting used to not living by myself again.

The one good thing is the food.  I get to cook real food and real meals now without having leftovers for a fucking week.  Real food is awesome!  It's way better than prepackaged, processed shit all the time.

I feel bad for not having a job, but then again, there are millions of other people in my kind of situation too.  When I think about it like that, I don't feel as bad anymore.  So when the bill collectors call, I just tell them, "I'm unemployed.  Have been since November, and don't get unemployement."  So SUCK IT!

Another bad thing about living back at home with dad is I can't stay up very late.  Well I CAN, but I have to be quiet, because it makes him stress when I'm awake and he's trying to sleep.  Or something like that.  

Dad sits and talks with me sometimes.  He tries to explain his interpretation of some of the stories in the bible.  So far, what I've heard is God is an alien who created Earth and populated it with species from several other planets.  There was the first Earth Age, where people lived for hundres of years and in spirit form, then there is the current, or second Earth Age where people will be created until souls run out.  (No they don't get reincarnated.  I asked)

He's also told me about the bloodline of Jesus and Satan, how there were more than just two of every animal on Noah's ark, and what spit Jonah up on the beach was not a "great fish" but an alien water craft.

Sometimes, I'm not really sure how to process all of that information, but I usually just smile and nod.

15 Aug 08 - What you want to know

With zero life, I have saved MUCH gas, therefore saving much MONEY by not having to buy that shit so often.  Which is good, considering I had to spend all extra money on co-pays for the doctors I saw.

My leg/knee is better.  Well, from time to time, like when I stand or walk a lot, it hurts a little, but I try to be as sedentary as possible. Hehe.  I am supposed to still be using the crutches, but great Jesus on jumpercables, they suck!  So I said eff that to the crutches after about two and a half weeks.  Well, the handicap parking was nice though, but have you ever tried grocery shopping by yourself. . . on crutches?  Yeah, that should be a new olympic sport!  Seriously.

Speaking of Olympics, I've been watching the hairy balls off the games!  It kind of helps that Michael Phelps is smoking hot, but still I have homeland pride, beeyotches!  I love watching the US kick all the other suck-assed country's asses!

Let's talk about work.  The past few weeks, okay, more than that.  It started a month or two ago.  I started really HATING the girl who trained me.  She would belittle me and talk to me like I was a fucking retard every time she told me about some little mistake I had made.  I found it condescending and hypocritical because she was making even WORSE mistakes than myself, yet seemed to overlook that.

But whatever, I just came in to do my work, and get paid.  Oh, and try to stay awake in the process.  The playing of music and listening to iPods were soon banned, for some reason.  I dunno, I wasn't there when the decision was made.  So, the buds came out of my ears and I started chatting it up more with the two front desk clerks sitting to my right.

Work got tolerable, yet that bitch kept pissing me off until one day I SNAPPED!  Well, kind of.  I didn't go COMPLETELY insane, like any previous times.  I just basically stood up for myself and let her know she wasn't as right as she thought.  I stopped being friendly to her, and started just being civil.  With as little interaction as possible.

About two weeks ago, she tries being nicer to me, yet things she was telling me to do sounded, erm. . . peculiar?  But, instead of listening to my gut, LIKE I SHOULD HAVE, but didn't, I brushed it off and just did what I was told.

I guess the military instills some of that shit farther than even I imagined.  I did what I was told, and didn't attempt of breaking the "chain of command" so to speak, by going over super-bitch's head to our supervisor.

Wednesday I was pulled into a conference to find out that super bitch had quit!  YES!  Life was going to be good again!  I was excited and scared all at the same time!  More responsibility!  Less backstabbing and dirty looks! WooHOO!

Then it hit me like a spike from Carrie Walsh, I was trained wrong.  That dirty bitch had trained me to do parts of my job incorrectly, thus causing billing problems, inturn costing the company $$ and headache.

That skanky cunt threw me under the bus and BAILED!  WTF?!  But I took it calmly and vowed that I would learn the correct way to bill new/referred/consulted patients.  I would work hard and they would LOVE ME!

Wrong-o.  I wasn't given a chance to do anything but pick my panties out of my ass.  I was brought upstairs again and told that the billing of fee tickets aka my job, was going back to a third party and my position was gone.  Just like that.

Yes, I was crushed.  But within the same breath, I was told they didn't want me to leave the company, so I had the option to stay and do a different job.  Across the street.  WHAT!?!

Across the street!?!???  The building I'ver heard ZERO good things about?  People I don't even know??!?!  NOOOO!!!!!!!

Well, of course I took the fucking position.  You honestly don't think I'm an idiot, do you?

So, watery and red eyed, I packed up some stuff and headed across the street to the main clinic.  I was introduced to my new supervisor and told of my new position (same pay).

I was reluctant because my new job involved answering the phones.  All calls to each of our five clinics go to the phones in one little room of women, dubbed THE HEN HOUSE.  I swear to BLOG!

Instantly I knew that all change was indeed NOT bad, and instilled my belief that things DO happen for a reason.  These chicks were cool!  They talked and actually laughed!  Holy balls!  I have a new home and it makes me happy!  I like it more than the old place because I'm not surrounded by grouchy, grumpy, crabby old bitches who fight like two year olds!

ALAS!  All is again right with the world.  I am home, saving money and watching the Olympics.  Life is good.

26 July 08 - Making up for lost Dr.Visits

My health insurance kicked in, full force this month.  So far, I've been wearing the shit out of it!  Damn, if they don't hate me yet, they will be kicking themselves for insuring me soon!

First, I just made a few normal appointments.  I have been having crazy, feels like I'm 16, mad acne breakouts for the past few months.  It's been insane!  So, I decided to see a dertmatologist.  That went pretty well.  I'm using RetinA and taking tetracycline.  I lucked out on the cost of RetinA, getting it for FREE!  I also love kRog's $4 scrip list!

Secondly, since I haven't had a menstrual period since April-ish, I went to see an OB/GYN.  My bloodwork came back normal, and we discussed birth control options.  No big deal.

A week later, my knee started feeling sore.  Nothing major, just kind of achy.  I thought that it either had to do with my excercising or standing up all night the night before at the Jimmy Buffett concert I went to.

The next day the pain was worse, and progressively worse as the days went by.  So, Monday I called to get a primary care doctor so I could get my knee checked out.

First, let me tell you about trying to get the appointment.  I chose to stay with the Lexington Clinic, because that's who my OB/GYN is with and they have offices all over town plus an after hours care center.

When I called, I asked the woman who answered, what the clinic hours were.  She asked me what doctor.  I said, any family doctor.  She put me on hold and transferred me to someone's voicemail.

I hung up and called back, getting the same damn woman.  I tried to be a bit more specific, and say I was needing a new family doctor and wanted to know the hours.  Before I could say anything else, I got the hold and transfer again.

Now I'm pissed the fuck off.  I call for a third time and guess who answers?  The first thing I say is, "Does anyone else answer the phones besides you?"  She kind of laughed and said yes.  I was angry and told her I had called twice before wanting help and she was not giving me any, just transferring me.

She seemed to listen a little better this time when I told her I needed a new doctor and needed one who opened early so I wouldn't have to miss much work.  Finally, I was sent to the right person, who answered and got me an appointment for Thursday morning.

By Thursday my knee was swollen and hurting much worse.  Hopefully the doctor would help!  When I got to the clinic, I had to stand in line for 15 minutes to check in.  I'm sure that was good on my knee.

The doc checked out my knee, ordered some blood tests and an xray.  The lab took FIVE vials of blood!  Holy piss!  Why did they need FIVE?  I still have no idea, but maybe in the next few days I will and will let you know too.

It took no time to get the xrays back and the doctor said they looked normal, but there was a slight sign of inflammation.  She ordered an MRI for Friday morning, at the clinic across town, close to my office.  She gave me a sample of Flector patches to put on my knee, and I stood at the window for a good 20 minutes while the nurse made my mri appointment.

That night, I noticed my left foot, mainly ankle, was swollen.  Awesome.  I put the Flector patch on my leg, took some ibuprophine and went to bed.  Those patches, by the way, suck.

Friday morning I went and had the MRI done, taking a nice nap during, and my knee was still hurting.  Only now, both knees hurt because I was limping and putting more pressure on my right knee.  The pain changed to stiff achiness and every time I walked, I felt like the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz, and my knees needed oiling.

I noticed my foot/ankle was swollen again and became concerned, so I called the doctor's office.  The nurse told me to go to the after hours clinic.  So I went after work.

The pain was now so bad, that if it got any worse, I would have been in tears.  Seriously.  I was walking slower than a 90 old granny with a walker.  Back in the exam room, I laid down and tried to rest until the doc came in.

I think she was just out of school because her bedside manner was questionable.  She asked me if I had gotten the results of my MRI yet.  I said no, and she asked me what I thought was wrong.  Then she said, "Well I know the results of your MRI, and you have a fracture in your tibia."

Okay, if you KNEW the results, why didn't you just fucking come out and TELL me in the first damn place?  If I wasn't hurting so much, I would have been such a bitch about that.

One of the nurses came in with a brace for my knee and a set of crutches.  Have you ever used crutches?  They completely suck gigantor saggy oldman balls!  I'm not supposed to put any weight on my left leg, so using the crutches is hard, and hurts my underarm pits.  Owie!

I could tel you stories of how, when I went to pick up my script for Ultram, I hobbled around kRog, but that would be pretty boring. 

Why is it, when you are visibly injured and on crutches, people look at you like you have an under developed arm growing out of your forehead?

Oh yeah, the crappy doc who did my last exam referred me to an orthopedic surgeon's office, but they aren't open until Monday.  I guess I'll find out more about my sitch then.

20 May 08 - Bitches be crazy, yo!

The bitches I work with, man, they are SOME kind of bitches!  It seems like I work with a group of people who hate being there.  A few of them are actually okay, and friendly, but fucking hell, you'd think I fucked their sons and raped their daughters with a strap on they way they look at me sometimes.

Maybe it's not me?  Maybe their face is permantly stuck in the scowl position and they can't help it?  I know for sure I can't trust a single one of those bitches to not snitch on me.

See, we have interweb access, but are only allowed to use it for work purposes.  Then they scare us with, "oh the big bad IT guy does a scan to check what sites you visit. " blah blah bullshit.  What the fuck ever.   If humpty Steve wants to question why I went towww.wendys.com then he can. 

Anyway, since I don't internet surf, I use my crackberry.  I get online and visit lexmojo and check my mail.  I also text my homies.  Well, if I'm having a shit or slow day, I open my drawer and sneak a message.  Apparently the spies in the office hate me and tattle every time they see me.

Even when I'm on break I get questions, "Who are you talking to on there all day?"  Yeah, they are called FRIENDS.  Remember those?  You probably had some before you got married and old.

So, now I go for walks around the neighborhood and text where no one can see me.  I would go into the shitter, but since there is only one, people get tired of waiting for me to come out.

Well, today I listened to some Ricky Gervais podcasts and was laughing my jiggly arse off!  I thought for sure I'd be busted and get in trouble for random bursts of laughter.  I mean, it's not like I was watching a movie, again.  Plus I was still working. 

Now, even though he's a dood, my dad is one crazy bitch!  He cracks me up sometimes, and other times I just want to wring his neck.  He gets more mood swings than a woman.  We had an argument a few weeks ago, over NOTHING.  Because of our fight, he thought I was never going to talk to him again, so he left me a letter on my windshield.  Drama queen!

We made up, now he's been telling me about his bathroom problems.  "Not when I pee, you know, the other," is what he tells me.  Yeah, dad, I'm 31, you can say poop or stool to me and I'll know what you mean.

He had me a little worried today.  I think he's getting like my mother because he told me a story of when he was a kid, he thinks he saw aliens.  Or maybe he thinks he was abducted by aliens, or they did something to him?  Oi, I have no clue.  Guess this is what I have to look forward to in about 30 years.  Yippie!

Continuing my topic of crazy bitches, a few weeks ago I was in a fight with one.  A real fight, with punches and shit.  I didn't blog about it then, because I knew that's what some people were hoping for.  Like I'm going to give anyone THAT satisfacion!  HA!

So, here's what happened.  The girl I blogged about a few months ago, that was acting trampish at a bar with her boyfriend and I told him to watch his back, yeah, well she got her feelings hurted and tried to call me out about calling her a whore.

Well, okay, if you see something or hear something someone has said about you, be it matter of fact or opinion, and you get mad about it, then it must be true. Right?  I mean, if it's not true, then fuck it, let it go.  But nooooo, she called me out as soon as she saw me and said if I were to start rumors about her, to make sure they were true.

Well, leading up to that point, I had drank 2 large assed fucking margaritas with a lot of tequila, and a few glasses of beer, along with a muscle relaxer chaser.  I know, shut up.  Hey, it's my Friday ritual, to ease the pain in my back.  The muscle relaxer, not all the alcohol.

So, by the time I get to this place, I'm pretty fucking drunk.  I have no idea what I said to that girl, but she wouldn't stay out of my face.  I kept walking away from her, I think I sang a song, and drank some more, and smoked a few cigarettes, but she wouldn't go away. 

Finally I said something to her and she punched me in the jaw.  Hey, I'm still on probation (ending this month) and I'm not about to go to jail for some crazy person.  Plus, I never throw the first punch, I learned that in college.  (What, what Kellie!!?? LOL  That bitch Shannon went down!)

Anyway, at the time, I was about to light a cigarette and she hit me, well I keep trying to light my cigarette and think I swung back, but kept trying to hold on to my cigarette and bit the inside of my lip.  When I realized it was gone, I held my lighter in my hand and just started hitting.

Not too long after, the fight was broken up.  I had a couple of scratches on my chest and my arm, and of course, my lip was bleeding from the inside, but I didn't know it until I started tasting metal.  That's always lovely.

Well, I fixed my hair and went back to drinking.  She left quickly after, with what looked like a black eye and bruised side of the face.

I don't really remember much else, other than getting some neosporin from PR, then going home and feeling like I was going to vomit, but passed out instead.

The next day I woke up and my bottom lip was kind of puffy, which was cool because I didn't have to pay for collagen injections to get that look. Ha!

So, last weekend, when I went out, I had to bring some pepper spray, just in case some bitches went crazy again.  Seriously.  I got a letter from the probation office, called Kentucky Alternative Programs here, and this is my last month of probation suckaz!  So, in an effort not to fuck up while still on probation, I brought my pepper spray. 

14 Apr 08 - Randomness of my mind

I've got a really funky cold right now.  It kept me inside and basically in bed all weekend and most of the day at work.  Maybe it's because the temperature in my house is about 62 degrees?  What can I say, I'm a cheap bitch.

I'm writing a  blog because I'm avoiding doing my state taxes.  Yeah, I know they are due tomorrow, but I'm a procrastinator.  There isn't much to do anyway, just fill out one piece of paper and mail it off.  I don't know why I'm delaying it.  Maybe because it feels like work?

I did some shopping today and got a really cool new scanner/printer/copier for $50.  It's pretty sweet!  It even came with some picture paper soz I can print out some pics and stick them on my wall at work.

Some of you are like me, and live the single life, which means you cook for yourself and probably not anyone else.  Well, have you ever noticed a lot of the packaging for what I call "single food" comes "easy open"?

I call bullshit on the easy open part.  Why is this the hardest thing to ever open?  Ever!  The directions say "pull here" or "tear here" when in all actuality it should say, "tear anywhere BUT here" or "just get some damn scissors".

Even the macaroni and cheese box isn't easy to open.  Well, if you're a girl and have fingernails, it's not easy to open, unless you want to rip one of your fingernails off and run screaming into the bathroom with blood running down your arm.  That box even says, "push in here".  It should say something like "tear at top" or "use a spoon to press this in cuz if you try to open this, you will injure yourself."

Then there are the packages with the "resealable" feature.  Ha! HAHAHAHA!  That shit never works!  If it does work, trying to get it back open is like trying to peel a wet cat off your back.

Has anyone else noticed how things come in "handy sizes" now?  What the shit is that about?  I can't get the bags of popcorn I like in regular sized bags anymore because now they are in "single serving" sized bags.  Um, no.  If I wanted a single serving, I would only eat half the bag, but I popped the whole bag and intended on eating the whole damn thing!

Is this the governments way of limiting proportions to our ever growing fat asses?  I've noticed that even the size of bags of chips are getting smaller.  I got a bag of fritos the other day, and they come in Family Sized, or, Junior Sized.  Well, it's not really called Junior Size, but that's how it looks!  It's at least 3-5 oz smaller than the normal sized bags used to be!  What?  WHY?!?  I had to buy two bags just so I didn't feel like I was being cheated out of any Fritos.  Sure, I could have bought the Family Sized bag, but it was way more expensive.

3 Mar 08 - Happy Birthday, you're fired.

Well, it's not really my birthday yet, but it's close enough.  I got a call this afternoon from work and they left a voicemail saying I was terminated, but I'd be paid for Friday and Monday.  Yay.

I didn't get to fight or defend my side, and they so easily decided I should be fired.  Wow.

So, I'm looking for employment elsewhere.  If anyone has any tips or ideas, knows of anyone hiring, I'll be happy to forward my resume, since it has been updated.

Thanks.

29 Feb 08 - BT Threatens work, news at 6

So here's what happened at work today.  We get in at 7am because that's what we've been working the past few days, 7-6:30.  We do our work, then are briefed about our new payscale system.

Most of us are losing about $30-$40 a day because of the new low payrates and no one was happy about it.

Throughout the morning and afternoon, many of us were making offhand remarks such as "I'm going to kill myself."  "I'm going to throw myself in front of a bus." 

When we came back from second break, I said "It's days like these that make me understand why people shoot up their workplace." I saw a girl's face, then added, "Not that I would ever do that."

Apparently someone who heard that took that as a threat and went to management.  I was asked to pick up my things, turn in my badge and escorted out of the building.

Before they kicked me out, I was told whoever reported me claimed I said, "It's days like these that make me want to go home and get a gun and shoot up the place."  Or something.  So I told our department head exactly what I said, and those around me who heard what I said.

So, I'm on paid leave pending investigation.  I guess I'll submit my resume for new jobs while I'm sitting at home since I'll probably get fired or something for that.

I said I was going to jump off a cliff, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna do it!  Holy fuck!  I don't even own a gun or any firearms/explosive devices!!  Wait, I own a box of matches and a lighter, but that's about it.

This is bullshit and I'm so mad about it!  How do I get myself into these things?  O

26 Feb 08 - Shit, shit, shit, shit, fuck, shit!

26 Feb 08 - SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, fuck, SHIT!
Current mood:  bitchy 
Category: Blogging

Okay, so yesterday's gone.  Thank the piss!  It is in the past and can fucking stay there dood.  Anyway, enough of that bull ess.

Shit!  I just noticed that my cats ripped open their bag of catnip and now it's all over the carpet.  Dammit!  Effing stoners!

Aside from yesterday's dramz, other shiz has been going on.  Like, Thursday night, my laptop died.  The pc itself is okay, but I can't get power to it because the prong connected to the motherboard with which the power cord connects, broke off.

Yeah, that made me a little pissed but only because all the pictures, documents and music I have loaded on that thing.  Maybe I can power it up and transfer it to a usb drive before it dies?  I'll have to give that a shot and let you all know how it went.  Otherwise, I'm SOL.

Since I'm a big nerd and can't live without having the internet for long, I went and got a new laptop.  It's pretty sweet ass, too!  It's a Sony Viao with an Intel Dual Core processor.  The only downside is, it has Vista.  Which isn't all that bad really.  It's much lighter, faster and bigger.  Plus I don't have to insert my wireless card into a pcmcia slot to connect to my wifi.  It's got that shiz built in, yo!  I know!

Oh yeah, I quit second job.  Well, I haven't been there in a few weeks, so I guess I don't work there anymore. Ha!  The deal with second job was, it was nice to have when we ran out of work at first job at like 2pm, and went home.  That way, I was at least making some money.  For the past two weeks, we've been working 9-430 with plenty to do, so I don't really have a need for second job anymore.  Sure, I'm not making the $20/hr I was making at the start of piece rate, but I'm making over $500/week, so that's not bad.

25 Jan 08 - Only the best day EVER!

I got the most exciting news today!  I get to move into my new apartment on February 1st!  YAYZ!!!  It is the coolest apartment too.  There is 950 sqft, a fireplace, sunroom, den, dishwasher, washer/dryer, lots of closets and a ginormous closet in my bedroom!! 

But wait!  The best part is, it is a block from work!  There are tennis courts and a swimming pool, plus a 10 person jacuzzi.  ALSO, they have dvds you can check out for free!  That's pretty sweet!

Wanna know my second exciting news?  I got a part time job!  Woohoo!   Why did I get a part time job?  Well, my main job hasn't been keeping me there for many hours, so even though I'm making $20/hour, I'm only working 5 hours.  So, I went with a coworker and applied for a job.  This was the fastest I've ever gotten ANY job in the history of me getting jobs!

Sure, it only pays $6/hr starting out, but that's better than nothing.  Plus, the faster I type, the more I can make.  Which for me, is cool since I'm a speed demon when it comes to typing.

But wait, what are the best two things about this job?  It's about two blocks away from my new apartment AND it pays out every Friday opposite to my other job, so I'll get a paycheck every Friday!  Sweet!

I am just so excited about FINALLY getting to move!  You all don't even KNOW how much I hate living here.  The first few weeks or so was okay.  I mean, I gave my roommate the benifit of the doubt.  But after he never got the point of "keeping things clean"  such as wiping off the counter, rinsing off the dishes and putting them in one side of the sink, cleaning out malodorous food from the fridge, etc, I couldn't take it anymore.  Him spraying my cat all the time with the water bottle when he wasn't doing anything wrong was the  last straw. 

I've had all I can handle, so slowly I will begin to move all my small things out, and leave all the big furniture for last.  Woo!  If I had some money, I'd go out and celebrate! Ha! 

Hey, I do have a bottle of rum. . . maybe I'll go buy some cokes? Heehee!

2 Dec 07 - Drunken idiot injures self while urinating

I woke up Friday and felt like hell twice over.  I had a major headache and the shiz.  So I called in sick and slept all day.  For serious.  ALL DAY.  I think I got up to eat a pb&j sammich around midnight, then went back to bed. 

Saturday I felt a little better, but still had the shiz.  Once I ate something other than pb&j, my stomach felt better.  I still sat around and watched tv and played Zelda on my DS.  Around 11pm I got a wild hair up my ass and decided to go out.

So, I jumped in the shower, got ready and headed to my favorite hole in the wall.  Things were okay, but not many of the regulars were there, so I only knew two guys that were already there, along with the bartender and karaoke operator.  Later another familiar face came in and we all sat and drank together until closing time. 

It was a pretty good time.  We hung out after closing and chatted with the bartender for a bit, then we left.  I was taking a friend home, but not before stopping at Sliders for some fries and chicken rings, cuz they rawk hardcore, yo.

My friend didn't live far from me, so I dropped him off.  On the way to my house, I had a really bad urge to pee.  In my town, the closer to my house, the less things are open past 10pm, and it was after 4am. 

Less than a mile from my house, I couldn't stand it any more, so I pulled over into a parking lot, went around to the passenger side of my car, opened the door and dropped trou.  What?  Dude, I had to pee!

So, in the split second that I squtted down, BAM!  I started to fall backwards.  As instincts go, I put my right arm out to protect my fall.  OW! Stupid instincts!  I continue to tinkle with my throbbing wrist.  Man my bladder was FULL!  I know I was waiting for a while, or what seemed like forever because I just KNEW a car or better yet a COP would drive by.  Thankfully no one did.

I finished up and continued home.  I had to clean myself off because I know when I fell I landed in some pee.  So while in the bathroom I was really starting to feel the pain of my wrist.  MOTHERFUCKER! 

Great.  Just great.  What a way to injure myself.  I can see it now, "How'd you hurt your wrist?"  "Oh, I was squatting to piss in a parking lot after drinking about 6 beers and fell backwards."

How is there any other way to explain that?  "Oh I fell and tried to brace my fall?"  I mean, that's kind of true.

I don't think I broke any bones because my wrist/arm isn't misshapen it just hurts like a fiery hot poker to the eye.  So I wrapped it in my ace bandage and iced it down.  Hopefully it will get better.  If not, I'll just have to wait until January to have a doctor look at it.  Stupid insurance.

29 Nove 07 - Damn you, electrically charged particals!

The one thing I hate most about Winter, aside from the crapload of snow/ice that accumulates, is the static electricity that attacks my hair.  While bothersome, for myself, it is also problematic because my hair is kind of long.  When it gets fully charged, my hair sticks to everyone and everything.  Ever heard of someone who sheds on their cats?  Yeah, that's me.

The static wouldn't be such a problem if people would keep the heat down and stop trying to sweat us to death at work.  I actually wore a jacket today, for the first time and when I put it on, I guess where it had been on my chair all day charging up, my hair stuck to my face and my coat and then reached for the ceiling a little.  Argh!

I'm getting a promotion/raise at work soon.  On December 10th I'll start training for Pends.  I'm really excited about this since our data entry program will be changing and getting easier.  I don't want to have a job where I sit at a computer in a coma all day doing test-monkey work.  When I start, I'll only get a few $ raise, but once I get the hang of it, I can make up to $25/hour.  Hellz yes it's sweet!

I'll finally be able to get ahead and not have to avoid calls from people who want money!  Of course it will take a little while before I start seeing an improvement in my paycheck, but it's worth the wait.

Another one bit the dust this week as Granny finally quit.  I could tell it was coming with her getting sick a lot and stressing out.  She was gone for over a week because she was sick and Monday she came in and cleared out her desk.  People keep dropping like flies!  This job really isn't that hard or stressful.  Maybe it is and I like it because you're required to think all day so it doesn't stress me out?

Why are there so many very strange people in one building?  I think this question crosses my mind every day at work.  Mostly about the people outside of my SBU.  I was filling up my water bottle at the purified water machine and there was a girl actually waiting for me to finish, so she could walk behind me.  See, there is another way she could have gone around.  All she had to do was turn around, but that must have been too hard?

They are also weird in the bathroom.  I drink a lot of water, so I take frequent trips to the restroom.  I find it odd when I walk in and someone is in another cubical being really, really quiet.  Like, if they are quiet and don't move, I won't know that they are in there taking a poop. 

I really hate that because sometimes I talk to myself.  Okay, a lot of times.  I tend to be retarded and say some goofy shit when I think I'm alone.  I don't know why I do it, but if I know someone is in earshot, I will try to be mindful of their presence and stay quiet instead of shouting things like "BEES!"

I've been trying to save money by bringing my lunch to work, and I just ended up feeding my new addiction:  Nintendo DS.  I play it on breaks and lunch.  When I get home I play it for hours and the past few nights I have lost track of time, which is why I've been so fucking tired.  I know, I'm an idiot.  I can't help it, Zelda rawks hardcore, yo!

3 Nov 07 - Ew, you're nasty!

You may or may not know that I am a bit OCD when it comes to germs.  Not that I'm all germaphobic like Howie Mandel, but I've got pretty good hygiene.  Well, good hygiene except on the weekends when I sometimes, okay most times, don't take a shower on Saturday unless I'm going somewhere substantial, like out to meet people.

Sure, I may not like to clean my bathroom and it gets a bit quarantine looking by the time I finally clean it, but I still bathe and wash my hair at least 5 out of 7 days a week.  One thing I ALWAYS, A-L-W-A-Y-S do is wash my hands after I use the toilet.  Not doing so is just nasty.  Especially if you are at work and you touch dorknobs and other things that people will come behind you and touch.

What the piss is my point?  Well, last night I was working and got to talking about hand sanitizer.  You know, the gel alcohol stuff that you squirt in your hand, rub around and it evaporates while sanitizing your hands from germs?  I started talking about it because there is one king, germ X, that is tourquoise and has a purple flower on the front, and smells really good!  Unlike the purell crap, I like the smell of this stuff and it has been hard to find.

Well, a girl sitting next to me had a bottle and I asked her where she got it, then we started talking about using it and washing our hands.  That lead us to a conversation about people we work with who don't wash their hand after they've used the toilet.  What's even worse is someone who didn't wash her hands after changing her tampon.  GAG!!!  Even worse than THAT, someone flushed one of the toilets in the cubicle and left shit on the handle!

Now, not only do I want to run out and buy a box of latex gloves and toilet seat covers, I don't want to use the toilet at work unless I have to.  Going in there makes me want to just gag.  Which has happened once.  Using the restroom and leaving feeling like I needed a shower. 

I don't know if someone pissed on the toilet seat or if they just had major swap ass and sweated all over the seat, but I once sat down and my butt got wet.  Ew.  Add a box of wet ones to my list of restroom supplies.

So, after work, I went to a walmart and found two bottles of the germ-X that I've been looking for.  If anyone knows where I can pick up some toilet seat covers, sent me an email.  I'm going to have to put a potty kit together for my trips to the restroom at work. 

Why are people so fucking nasty?  Sickos!  Maybe I'll have to bring my can of Lysol spray to work?  Forget that, I need it at home, I'll just buy a new cam for work, along with some wipey things.

Am I being a bit out of control about this or does my reaction seem normal?  I mean I know I'm going to touch some nasty shit, but it doesn't have to be that nasty and make me sick!  I would rather just smack some sense into these fools and make them wash they damn hands!  Sorry, I went a bit "black" on ya'll but ornery dumbasses like that just piss me off.

Do you work with nasty fucks like that?  Do you work with nasty asses only aren't aware of it maybe?  You should totally call them out on being gross cuz ya'll know that I'm going to hit the point home about hand washing at work next week, and very loudly. Cuz people be nasty.

25 Oct 07 - Genetically fucked loser.

I've actually wanted to blog for a few days, but have been too lazy. . .erm, tired to write anything.  I started working overtime so I can catch up on my bills and not be so damn behind on my stupid bills and actually have money for stuff like food and gas.

This morning I was stuck in traffic for EVER!  It was a nightmare.  Backed up forever and I was running out of gas.  I barely made it to work, not to mention I was late and I hate being late.  Imagine that; me hating to be late to work.  I know.

Anyway, during lunch, I went to get gas and lunch at Meijer.  Since I don't get paid until tonight, I was going to float a check because I'm broke as a ghetto bitch on the 30th of the month waiting for her welfare check.  Well, apparently Meijer has a new check system that automatically debits your money from your account and my shit was declined.  Super.

I spend the next 20 minutes trying to figure out what the piss to do and the manager lady told me I had to come back by 7:30 tonight to pay or my shit would be turned over to the police.  Nice.  Cuz I was totally trying to steal $28 worth of gasoline n stuff.

So, that took up my entire lunch hour and I didn't eat because I didn't have any money to buy any food.  I got a tuna salad sandwich on break from the vending machine and it kind of sucked.  Bad.

I also, finally, got my manager to approve my ergo keyboard so I can type better at work.  Turns out it isn't going to work as well as I hoped.  It beeps every time I press the tab button, which I use often, and some of the keys delete characters when it's not supposed to delete them.

See if I had the money, I'd go buy and updated one that wouldn't be all fucked up, but now I'll just have to go back to the shitty one with the keys that stick.

Why do I always have such shitty losery luck?  Is it because I was born into a family of redneck losers?  Am I genetically predispositioned to be a loser and suck at life?  What the piss?  How can I break this curse of loserness?  It's really frustrating and is pissing me off.  Seriously.

Also, being that I'm broke as fuck, I'm going to go see a movie tomorrow anyway.  Haha!  Hmm. . . maybe that's why I'm broke as fuck?  Oh wellz.  I'm going to go see Saw 4, bitches!  At least that small amount of fun can mask my loserness for an hour or two.

Oh!  Do you ever think that thoughts you have cause things to happen?  Like, did you ever see a really pretty girl and hope she tripped, then she totally fell down the stairs like a day or two later?  Well, the past few days I was hoping that a person I worked with would be quiet because she was talking a lot and asking a lot of questions.  Well, today she complained of chest pain and was taken to the hospital.  Did my evil thoughts cause her to have a heart attack?  I didn't mean to kill her I just wanted her to shut up!  OMG I'm totally the satan!

14 Sept 07 - Sparky McFadderson!

What a long assed week!  We are still in training at work, and instead of finishing up by the twenty first or fourth or whatever, we will probably be in training until October 1st. 

No, it's not because we are remedial fucking idiots with brain damage, it's because people aren't doing their job!  We have to access two systems and only half of us have user names and passwords for it and it's slowing us down.  So each day that we run out of shit to do, we just get read to like we were all four years old.  I've done so many sudoku puzzles, I'm almost finished with all the easy ones and there are over 100 of them!

One good thing, no, great thing happened this week.  Granny brought me some patches to put on my back and ZOMG!  I have never slept better in my life (that I can remember.  drunk nights don't count.)  I had zero back pain and didn't know what to do with myself!

I really needed those especially after I mowed the yard Wednesday.  My back hurt so bad when I finished that I could hardly walk.  I put one of those thingys on and *poof* like a Mr.Clean Magic Eraser, the pain was erased!  I'm totally going to get addicted to sticky back patches! Ha!  Wonder if they have rehab for that?

Anyways, a few people at work are becoming empowered with their know-it-all-ness.  They like to pipe up when someone is wrong, and point it out that "they" have the right answer.  One of them is Prego Doody Smoker and her partner I'mPerfect.

Well today, ADD and myself were trying to pull up our batch to review with the rest of the class, and I had mistakenly closed it and released it into the system.  Well, while I searched for instructions in my book on how to get it back, I'mPerfect came over and comondeered my effing keyboard!  Once I found what I was looking for, noticed she was in the wrong damn place anyway, I told her I could do it.  Did she leave?  Fucking hell no she didn't!  She stayed there and continued to fuck up until she finally pulled up our shit.  Wow.  I totally could have been done in half the time it took her to fix it for me.  Thanks.  I have no idea what I would have done without her help.

Well, at lunch, Prego Doody Smoker and I'mPerfect sat at the table with myself, ADD, Limpy, and Granny.  Why?  I have no fucking clue!  They shared tidbits on how RottenTeeth was annoying and how he was helping people who didn't ask for it.  Wait for it. . . Yes I'mPerfect said she only helped people who asked for it.  BWAHAHAHA!  My ASS!!  All the rest of us were thinking the same thing, YEAH RIGHT!

Another good thing, that went bad was in our dining room area, one of the Coke vending machines was broken.  But in a good way!  You could put one quarter in the machine and it would be spat back out, but the currency counter would register $.25.  So if you put the same quarter in the machine four times, pressed your selection, you got a free drink!  It was sweet ass, until someone fixed it.  Now it's boo.

I hung out with my friend K after work for a bit today.  He's got the cutest lil doggie, SPARKY MCFADDERSON!  Ha!  You love it.  His dog totally hits on chicks when they walk past the patio.  He's like a dog version of my cat, but I believe Elton is a bit fatter.

Okay, I've got to go cuz Dr.Who is on and I'm distracted.  OMG!  Speaking of Dr.Who, there is a paper towel dispenser in the hall next to our office and each time you pull down a sheet, it sounds just LIKE the Tardis!  Cheers if you know what the piss I'm talking about!

4 Sept 07 - Don't knock the nose-pon

What a busy flipping weekend.  Monday, since I got a paid day off, I took advantage of that and did lots of stuff.  I went to the grocery, did laundry, mowed the yard, made dinner, cleaned the shitter box, and took out the trash.  When I finished mowing the yard, aside from feeling like I was having a heart attack, I had a sneeze attack.  Then my brain must have melted because it started running out of my left nostril.  Then I would sneeze some more. 

I sneezed so hard, I shot snot across the room and onto my mirror.  That was a pretty sweet feat if you ask me.  I took some generic sudafed so I could sleep, but that wore off and I forgot to refuel this morning.  So all day my left nostril and left eye leaked. 

Since we had an assessment this morning, I was getting on my own nerves with the sniffles and blowing of the nose noises.  I took a square of toilet paper and crammed it in my nose hole.  This stopped the constant flow of snot and it stopped my eye from watering.  GENIUS!

Every so often I'd have to change my nosepon because it would get soaked with goo.  I've got one in my nose as we speak.  Sure it looks funny, and people look at you like you got popped in the nose, but it works!  From one angle it looks like a really big booger.  I just hope I don't push the tissue up too far that I lose it.  I would attempt to put a small tampon up there, you know, cuz it has a string, but I might not be able to get it out since they expand with absorption.

Class has actually gotten better.  I've befriended the three I last spoke of, which now means I can make fun of all their idosyncrasies and that makes them laugh, which makes me HILARIOUS! 

We have collectively joined forces and hate the other side of the desk now.  Especially one girl, Miss "I can teach class better than the teacher."  Because she obviously knows more than our teacher, and lets us know this.  So we just laugh and make fun of her.  Her illness has spread to the smoking preggo woman too because she too tries to teach things.  Ha!  Like the blind leading the blind.  I'll learn on my own and from the real teacher, thanks.

27 Aug 07 - Got Brain Damage?

Not this past weekend, but the weekend before that, I went to Richmond and hung out with some mofo at a bar and listend to a good cover band.  On the way back, yes I'd have a few, okay more than a few, but as I do when I'm a passenger in a car, I was reading street signs.  When we drove past one, I saw "Got Brain Damage?"  I was like "What?"

Well I started my new job the monday after and just so happened to drive by that same sign on my way in.  I noticed that it did NOT say "Got BRAIN Damage," but it actually said, "Got HAIL Damage?"  Clearly I am the one with brain damage to think that HAIL spells BRAIN.  It was quite funny at the time.

So Monday, I got to work and we had orientation for all the new people starting in the different areas, which lasted about 2 hours.  We were done for the day and our group was told to come back on Wednesday.  Sweet!  All that hard work and a day off!

Wednesday morning I got there bright and early, cuz we're sposed to, but I wasn't as early as everyone else cuz the room was already almost full by the time I got there.

Nineteen of us, plus our leader, were crammed in a tiny room around the size of a master bedroom in a normal sized house.  Only half of the computers in the room worked, and it was hot.  Talk about suckage.  All day we got read to and got to take notes.  By the end of the day my hand cramped from all the writing.

The next day is where things get good.  See, on the real second day of hanging out with the same people, you start to take notice of those people, what they do and what they say. 

There is one girl, she's only a few month's preggers, but looks like she's in her second trimester.  I think she's just a fatty.  She is also a smoker.  That pisses me of more than anything because she's not even trying to quit!  Every break she's lighting up.

Also, she was late coming back from break and made a comment about it, saying something about, "but I had to doody real bad."  Um, ew.  Seriously?  Out of all the words from the dictionary to select from to describe that you had to use the restroom, you choose "doody?"  Wow.  Later, I hear her curse her computer by saying again, "aww doody!"  I have no words for you, you large waste of space.

Now, the second day, I got to sit at a computer, and had a few different people sitting around me.  This was made evident by the continuous smell of shit in the air.  Yes.  It smelled of shit.  And baby powder.  I am still unsure if it was doody lady, or if it was Shaniqua sitting next to me.  Whoever it was, it was fucking foul!

Now, on our first day, we were told that if we fell asleep, we'd be fired.  Well, on our second day of training, Shaniqua and her shit smelling ass kept falling asleep, and doody woman kept scrolling her screen down to make it look like girl was paying attention.  Of course, I took it upon myself to let the instructor know during break, that Shaniqua was falling asleep.  A lot.  He kept trying to watch her, but she was never caught.  Damn.  One day.  Maybe.

Not that I want to get people fired, but I'm really just helping weed out the useless fucks in the class. 

Talk about some worthless idiots! OMG!!!  These are the dumbest people ever!  They are always asking questions that have NOTHING to do what we are learning!  Seriously.  Shut the fuck up.  They are the reason we take 5 hours to go over one section.  Then they don't pay attention.  Someone asked a question two days after someone previously had asked the same damn question.  Holy piss, morons!

If I'm describing to you how to put an engine together on a car, don't ask me what my worst speeding ticket was!  No relevance!! 

There are a couple of cool people in the class.  They seem smart and together.  About 5 actually.  The rest are fucking idiots.

Oh, one guy!  Oh man, this guy.  This guy and his teeth.  YIKES!!!!  For serious.  I have never seen things in a person's mouth so far away from resembling teeth than that in this guy's mouth.  He's got two big, whitish front teeth, that remind me of the briar rabbit.  The rest of the crap, I have no idea.  It's all blackish and rotted, and I can't even bring myself to take a closer, longer look.  Seriously, I tried, but started to vomit.  This guy always smells like a big dirty ashtray too.

I don't even want to get started on Grandma, Limpy and A.D.D.  Good lawd!  Grandma just got 21 teeth pulled and cut out.  How do I know?  The first three days, she made it a point to tell everyone this fact.  She is also suffering from hot flashes, panic attacks, and high blood pressure, because she talks loudly and likes to submit very personal details to a group of people of whom she does not know.

Limpy, limpster, she's just annoying.  Oh good night!  She got on my nerves from day 1.  Always making cutsie remarks and chiming in at all the wrong moments, trying to become funny and the pet.  Oh honey, good luck, but you're just pissing people off.  She's got a boot on one of her legs, probably from when her husband tried to break her ankle or something, trying to get her to shut up.

A.D.D. is just some kind of stupid.  She's really cute and very dumb.  On the first day she announced that she has ADD, and has evidentally made zero effort to work with her doctor to get this under control because she is alway lost, can never wait for break and won't sit still.  I think it's a fucking show and she needs to sit her ass down and pay attention.

I mean, seriously.  I was diagnosed with adult ADHD, and worked with a psychiatrist to cope, and work through the problem.  This bitch ain't trying.  If she is, my ass is shiny and I shit golden eggs.

Well those three seem to be bff and alway have to sit next to one another.  They are the chattyest hens in the coop.  I keep trying to get a good seat, but because of my learning situation, I seat myself in the front of the class, near the instructor, and crazy, smelly, retards seem to follow.  Fuck!

7 Aug 08 - Mother FUCK! !!

So, I lost my temp job yesterday.  I got a message to call the temp agency since I missed their call, and the woman answering the phone told me to call in the morning, and to not report to my assignment.  I thought maybe someone was worried about my funky eye and didn't want me to come in until I had a dr. note or something.

Well, this morning I called a bit after 8am, and was told that my assignment was over.  They cited insubordination.  INSUBORDINATION!?!?  For realz?  How the holy fuck was I insubordinate?  I did everything those fucks asked of me.  Maybe they didn't like that I did my shit so fast and played on the internet when I didn't have anything to do?  I dunno.

So, now I'm looking for another job.  Weee fuck.  I really hate job hunting.  At least tomorrow I get to pick up my check and try to pay my car loan so Josh from Chase will stop calling me.

I'm really just not having a good time this year.  My eye is better now, but I can't get rid of the shits.  I seriously seem to have asplosive diarrhea daily, and think when I took the "stop the shits" pill, is when my ankles swelled up.  Maybe it's the heat?  Maybe I've been drinking too much water?  I dunno, but I sure wish I'd start shitting solids again!  It makes it hard to shop.

Like today, since I didn't have a job to go to, I did some work in the yard.  After a while, I realized I needed some gardening gloves so I went to Kmart.  I had to leave there pretty quickly, after discovering they didn't have anything I wanted, because I had to poop.

I couldn't stop at the dollar store or anywhere else because I felt the pressure rising and my ass was about to blow, so I went home.  After I crapped, of course, I went back to the dollar store and got some garden gloves and tools then came home and worked in the yard some more.

Let me tell you, it's called yard WORK for a reason.  If it were fun, it'd be called yard FUN.  My arms and hands are so damn sore, but at least the bushes are starting to look better.  We have some three foot tall thistle growing all over the back yard and that shit is prickly!  I tried cutting some of that shit down, but kept getting stuck.  Ya'll know what happened last time I messed around in the yard, I ended up sick with poison ivy for a week, then got the itchy rash.

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you what I did to my foot.  Since it's summertime and I've been wearing sandals all the time, my feet are rough and callused.  I have this little thingy with a razor blade on one end that shaves away the rough dead skin.  Well, the other night I got a bit overzealous with that thingy and took a huge fucking chunk out of my heel. 

As I played with the skin, I looked down at my heel to notice the blood oozing out of it.  It's not bad, but it sure as hell isn't pretty.  It never ceases to amaze me the stupid shit I end up doing to myself.  I'm actually just happy I didn't chop my fingers off while clipping away at the bushes today! LMAO!!!

27 Jul 07 - New Job

In my job search, I went to a temp agency since they tend to get you placed quicker and pay much faster.  I initially had a job interview set up for last Friday, but when I got to the temp place, the woman I was supposed to meet with didn't have her schedule book, so the interview was postponed until Monday.

Well, I was up all night moving, and thought I got a call from the temp service real early, but I could have been dreaming because I didn't see their number on my list of calls.  I got an email a little later saying that the law firm I was supposed to interview with never called the temp place back, but they had forwarded on my resume to another place downtown. 

Since I wasn't going to be doing any interviews, I went ahead and did more moving.  I got a call that afternoon saying the office downtown wanted me to start the next day, Tuesday morning.  That was pretty awesome, since I didn't have to interview or anything, but they told me the job was only for 2 months.  Whatever, just get me monies!

Well, Monday night, I had trouble going to sleep and only got about 3-4 hours of sleep then it was time to get up and get ready for work.  I was so damn tired, but tried to be happy and cheerful.  I wore a nice business suit dress, and noticed when I got there, I was clearly overdressed.  Not that they were all dressed in jeans and tshirts, but more casual.

So, I'm learning about who does what and what goes where, and of course it makes no sense to me because it's my first day.  Plus, I forgot to take my medicine the night before and I felt all dizzy and passy-outish every time I stood up or walked. 

I was able to grasp the basics of being the receptionist, because I'd just answer the phone and file stuff.  Filing was only hard because I had on shoes that hurt my feet and every time I moved, I wore a blister on my heel.  Later I found that my shoes hurt because my feet were all swollen.

I didn't have computer access, so I just sat at the desk, trying to look busy and answering the phone, pretending I was Pam from The Office.  A few times I went outside and smoked with a group of 4 who all seem to have a dislike for one woman in the office.

I quickly like this group of 4 because they are mean, like myself, and funny.  Even though I spent most of my first day filing, the job is only from 8-5 and I really like it.  I mean, I'm not doing much really.  Answering phones, stuffing envelopes and filing stuff.

After I got home on the first day, I finished up my moving but on the second day, I went straight to bed.  No shit.  I went to bed at 5:45, got up around 11 to clean out the litter box and change, then went back to bed.  I actually did the same thing last night, but I got up at 11 to change, then went back to bed.  When I got up this morning, my feet weren't swollen, but when I got up to the office, my left foot started swelling a little.  FUCK!  Why won't you stay normal, foot?  I'm drinking water, and only water and it sucks.  I'm pissing like a mad cow, and my foot still looks like I borrowed it from Fred Flintstone.

Anyway, on my second day at work I got access to the computer and was able to keep myself occupied with some surfing.  I was a bit hesitant to get on my normal sites, but once I saw that myspace was already in the internet history, I logged right on. HA!

So, here I sit, I'm bored right now, but am getting ready to ask for some work so I don't fall asleep.  Hopefully I'll be able to get some shit done at home this weekend and try to get organized.  At least I don't have to work weekends! YAY!

25 Jul 07 - The move

Okay, for the record, in case you didn't already know, moving sucks; doing it alone sucks huge manatee balls and then some.  I started packing Saturday night, and did as much as I could before I got tired, which was pretty late.

I got up Sunday and packed some more, then started hauling shit in my car.  Since I was up late Saturday, I didn't get up until after noon on Sunday.  Well, I made about four trips before I finally called it quits around 2am.

I was supposed to have an interview Monday at some point, but the company never called the temp service back, so I just went and packed up more shit and hauled it to my new place.

I tried to rent a UHaul, but those are way too damn expensive, and I only had $60, so I kept trying to ask various friends if they would help.  I mean, I tried to ask on Sunday, but no one would call me back, or was available to help.  So I kept moving shit in my car.

Oh yeah, I got another note taped to my door Sunday morning from bitch face about needing to be out "THAT DAY" or she would have the sherrif serve an eviction notice.  Blah, blah, blah.  Her past few notes had been on bright pink construction paper, written in black marker, so I wrote her a note back, on 14x14" paper, in black marker, letting her know I would get the rest of my stuff Monday, because I couldn't fit everything in my car, no matter how hard I tried.  Of course I underlined random words and circled a few, just to mock her.

Towards the middle of Monday, my only truck lead was in Vegas, and no one else would help.  Not knowing what to do, and wanting very badly to get the hell out of that apartment, I called on my friend Todd again.  He had been busy working the previous day, and I knew he'd be busy working again today, but I had no other options.

Thankfully, he lent his son and nephew to me.  They came over and moved all of my big and heavy furniture.  It took longer than I had expected because we didn't have any straps to tie shit down with, but we got it taken care of in two trips, loading up my car too. 

Talk about awesome!  Justin and Tim had already worked a full day with Todd and came over to help me.  I really appreciate them for helping, and Todd for letting us use the truck and trailor.  Thanks guys!!!

So, we finished up around 1am, and I laid down around 2am, but didn't fall asleep until after 3, I know.  Well, I had to be up and at a job at 8am, so my ass was fucking tired come 6am, which of course, I didn't get up until 630.  (I'll write more about the job stuff in a seperate blog.  This one is for moving.)

Well, I still had a few things left at the old shit hole that I needed to get out before I could hand over my keys, so after work I went home, ate and changed.  I packed in as much crap as I could, not wanting to make a second trip back, but I was defeated by the laws of physics.  Dammit!

I drove my stuff home and had to go inside and lie down for a few minutes because I felt ill.  I seriously felt like I was going to vomit.  While lying down, I noticed that my feet and ankles were really swollen.  I felt like my fingers were swollen that day, but never paid much attention to it.

I got up and unpacked my car.  I mustered all my strength to get the last little bit in and leaned over to vomit, but nothing came up.  Thank God, because I really hate to throw up, and I would have hated puking in the front yard. LOL

I sat down for a little bit, then ventured back to get the last remaining items of my shit.  One of which, was my kittie's other litter box.  See, I have two of them, one for each cat, but only brought one with me initially.  I was trying to conserve the litter, but once I got it in my car and saw there wouldn't be enough room, I dumped the litter out. 

Oh, where did I dump the litter?  In that bitches garden. HAHAHA!  While I was packing up the rest of my things, I saw a little dog walk by and take a piss right where I dumped the litter.  SWEET!!

Once I piled everything in my car, I took a strip of masking tape, stuck both keys to it, then taped it to the outside of skank's screen door.  Did I mention how dirty I left the place?  Yeah, I wasn't about to clean up, one because I'm stubborn, and two, because I was fucking worn the fuck out!  Plus I left a few treats behind, like some old magazines, clothes, food in the fridge and freezer, and the elliptical machine I got a few years ago.  That thing was too heavy to move, I wasn't about to take it apart, plus it didn't work all that great.  Not to mention the limited space left in the house because of all of my shit, that thing wouldn't even fit!

Last night, while unpacking the last and final load of crap, I noticed how big of a help my roommate was by helping me because I had to do this stuff all by myself.  At least I got my bed put together and the tv working for now.

21 Jul 07 - Let's do this, I'm a cashew.

Technically, this blog is ONLY for my FRIENDS.  I'm actually going to be going through my list and deleting a bunch of you fucks whom I accepted as a friend, but know you are just reading my blog to find out what the fuck I'm saying about you.  So, all you bitches are about to get kicked the fuck out of my blog and my friend's list.  How do ya like me now?

Anyway, I thought since times are a changing, I should update you about what's going on.  Even though I really like keeping some of you in suspense, I won't. haha  I keed!  I keed!

I'm currently packing my shit and will be moving as much of it as possible tomorrow.  I found a place to live with a friend of mine who has a house close to Lexington.  It was kind of awesome for my friend to do this for me. 

On Friday, I got a funny note on bright pink paper taped to my glass door.  It was from my landlord telling me that if I didn't pay her the rest of the rent by that day, then I needed to be out by that day.  Aww, how sweet!  I wrote her a letter back, with $100 inside letting her know I would try to get the rest for her this weekend.   I apologized for not getting back to her sooner, but I'd been busy looking for a job.

I also let her know that the house I was moving in to wouldn't be ready until Sunday, so unfortunately for me, if she wanted me out, she'd have to have a court order stating I wouldn't be allowed on the premises.  Then I made a joke, saying, thank God it isn't supposed to rain this weekend!  Of course, I thanked her for being so patient and understanding with me. Ha!  This morning I woke up and saw that she'd put a For Rent sign in my yard.

About the job search, I went to a temp service, and they got me an interview with a law firm on Monday.  It's temp to hire and pays more than my last job, plus has benifits and I won't have to work on weekends.  So, suck on that punks! HA!  Print this blog out and wipe your ass with it for all I care!

That's what has been going on in the life of me this week.  I'd love to stay and chat but I've got more packing to do.

14 Jul 07 - Awww, I fucked up. Dammit!!!

Ooooh MY GOD!!! I really wanted to beat this woman with a very heavy metal object because my shoe just wouldn't do enough damage to her fat ass.

So, this crazy cunt comes into the store this afternoon.  I start out all nice, as usual and offer to help her with an upgraded phone.  I go over the phones with her, and she spouts off about a discount she gets that offers the phone at $50 off.  I check out the information for the FAN she gave me, which says nothing about $50 off any equipment or accessories. 

Bitch loses her mind. She starts flipping out because what it says online doesn't correspond with some fucking note she got from the breakroom or some bullshit.  I told her I could sell her a phone at the discounted price, but she didn't like the cheapest one we had.  I told her sorry, and if she wanted, she could go to a corporate location.

Then she starts flipping out because she's on her lunch break and doesn't have time to go to another location.  Again, I say sorry, and tell her I can offer her a phone at the listed price.  She leaves, but comes back 20 seconds later and accuses me of breaking her phone.  Hey dumbass, that shit was busted when you brought it in here.

She starts rambling on again about wanting a phone wtih $50 off, but I told her, sorry I couldn't do that, but if she brought the letter to me, I'd consider it.  She flips out again, stands in front of me all pissed off-like, sort of looking like a very chubby chicken, and I tell her that we can either activate her a phone, or she can stand there shaking her head, wasting time.

So that pisses crazy Bertha off even more, she leaves, but not before calling me a bitch as she gets to the door to walk out.  Why thank you! :)  I didn't know she cared!

Well, 10 minutes later, the cow comes back with a generic typed up letter saying she gets a 10% discount off service, correct, and $50 off a new phone and accessories, wrong-o beeyotch.  She slammed the paper on my desk and demanded a phone.  I Told her to take her fat crazy ass on, because I wasn't going to help her with her being all out of control.  She asks my name, I don't tell her, duh, but she picks up a business card and says my name.  Then I say, "Yeah, I think that's me, it might not be though!"

She screams, "I'm going to call and complain about you!"  To which I reply, "I'm already making notes about what a crazy ass bitch you are."

I guess that made her cry, because she stalked Tom down in the parking lot, crying, and pleaded with him to activate her a new phone.  She said she wanted to come in here, but only if I went to the back or some shit.  Fuck her!  You know I sat right here the whole time and typed this blog!  Breathe in my nasty farts you ugly fuck!

So, I hope she gets in trouble, because she's late getting back from lunch cuz Tom takes forever to activate a phone. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Damn, I need a cigarette.

16 Jun 07 - Screw you J-Hole!

I'm still sick.  I still hate being sick.  Instead of being stuffed up and congested, the snot is loose and trailing down my throat.  Now I cough and sound like I've been up crying all night.  My eyes started watering yesterday.  I was waiting for someone to ask why I was crying, but since I sound like death, I think they put two and two together.

Have any of you seen "The Closer" on TNT?  It's got Kyra Sedgwick and GW Bailey (From the Police Acadamy movies.)  Anyway, my tivo recorded some episodes for me since I hadn't watched it in a while, and I decided to be more like the character Brenda while I'm at work.

It's kind of hard to explain her because she's nice, like "Southern" nice, and smiles and says "Thank you," a lot.  Then when she has a smart assed comment, she says it very politely with a smile.

Well, I've been working on perfecting this character for myself and I got to practice yesterday.  A guy came in with his phone, box in at&t bag and everything.  First he wanted help putting the SIM card from his old phone into his new Blackberry.  No problem.  Doing that is so simple, even a cave man could do it.

THEN, he wanted me to sit down and show him how to use his blackberry.  Normally, I wouldn't mind to, but we were getting close to closing, the other girl was working with a customer and there was a lot of shit that needed to be done.  I told him to go back to where his device was purchased and they could help him there.  He got all confused and asked why I wouldn't help him.  Then he got mad when I told him I couldn't help him because he chose to give the commission to another store, therefore paying them to help him, not us.

See, the owners have repeatedly told us not to help customers that didn't purchase their equipment or service from our location.  We are independantly owned and are not obligated to provide service to other customers.  Even though, most of the time I do help them if it's a small simple task like switching the SIM or something.  Explaining how to use a phone, fuck that.  Especially a blackberry,that takes forever.  Well it would have taken forever because this guy was such a retard he couldn't figure out how to put his old SIM card in his new phone!

Well, the pissed off mouth breather took my card, loudly claimed that I was providing shitty customer service and stamped and grunted off.  While I said "Thank you," and "Have a great day!"

It was kind of funny actually.  I have a harder time being as polite to j-holes on the phone though, so that's something I have to work on.