12 April 2009

13 May 06 - All Things Said

For some strange reason, I tend to remember some crazy things that I have said or have heard in the past.  Some of the things are funny, or embarassing, and that's why they stick in my memory.

Last week we had a customer call into rep services because she had a delimma.  She had canceled her Cingular service and was going to return her phone, but wanted to know how to get the pictures off her camera. 

Well, we kept telling the agent in rep services to tell the woman, sorry because we couldn't help her.  She wouldn't accept this answer.  She HAD to get the pictures from her phone to her computer.  Well, since she had already disconnected her service she couldn't email them, and the only other option is to buy a data cable, and she wasn't going to do that.

We wondered what this crazy woman's problem was, and when the agent called us back again, with the same women, we found out.  She had taken pictures of someone in a coma and wanted to keep the pictures.  My answer?  

"Just tell her to get a digital camera and go take more pictures.  They're in a coma, obviously they aren't going anywhere."

One embarassing moment that I can't seem to forget, happened when I was about 16.  I was on the phone with a guy I had a huge crush on, and telling him that I saw him at work that day.  When he asked what I was doing there, I answered:

"Oh, just getting some Perma Soft and tampons."

For some reason that embarassed the fuck out of me, and I'll never be able to forget saying that.

When I was a freshman in college I got a urinary tract infection.  When the student health center gave me aniboitics, I had a really bad reaction to them and broke out in itchy hives.  That weekend after I got better, my dad came down to visit.  When I told him what happened his response to me was:

"You get urinary tract infections from having SEX!"

Oh my gawd!  I tried not to laugh, and lie at the same time.  No daddy!  I'm not having sex! *giggle*

When I was 18, I worked as a cashier at Kroger, and was ringing up two nice younger women in their late 30's probably.  They had purchased beer, and the cashier wasn't old enough to scan it, so I had to come do it.  While finishing their transaction, one lady looked at me and told me I was really pretty and should be a model.  After I graciously thanked them, Kerry, (yes it was you bitch), said:

"Model?  For what, dog food?"

Thanks fucker!  Don't think I've forgotten that. Haha!

When I was in college, I dated a Marine named Doug.  His twin brother was engaged to my friend Robyn and they called us every night.  Well Doug and I were having an arguement, and he said I scared him.  My response?

"I scare you? I, scare YOU? GRRRRRRRR!!!

Laughter ensued.

Something that was said to me, and I will always remember, but won't go into detail:

"Whoa!  Not now.  Daddy's tired."

I always giggle myself silly when I think of that.

There is a commercial on tv, and I can't remember what it's a commercial for, maybe Mother's Day, but it's got a little boy sitting on a toilet yelling, "I'm Dooone!"  This reminded me of when I babysat for the cutest 3 year old girl (aside from my Shelby of course.)  When she would finish going poopie, she would scream for me:

"Come wipe my BUTT!"

Not knowing the rules between kids and adults, it was funny and awkward at the same time. 

Since a lot of you are newer readers, and you probably haven't read my blog in September from My Sister's Big Fat Gay Wedding, I'll tell the funny part again.

My sister had hired a caterer for the wedding reception being held in the back yard.  I was in charge of greeting the guests and have them sign the guest book.  While standing there, the caterer walked up to me and asked:

"Where's the groom?"

"Oh...um...there is no groom.  It's two women getting married."

I told my sister and her wife what he asked, and while it was funny, I was afraid of his reaction because this day and age, you just never know if someone's going to take that news lightly or not.  Thankfully, he just said OK and walked away.

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