12 April 2009

6 Aug 06 - Dear Jesus, you scared the piss out of me.

It's a little after 8am this morning, and I haven't been to bed yet.  I'm not really tired, but maybe I'm just a little afraid of going to sleep.  Why the hell am I afraid of going to sleep?  Well, I am a bit afraid of what my dreams my bring.

Last night, while dreaming, I had an encounter and feelings that can only be described as surreal.  Both awsome and frightening causing me to wonder if I had lost my mind.

Like most dreams, they only make sense to the dreamer during the dream.  This dream started out with me standing in a field, near some trees, talking to a guy and girl.  The guy was played by a friend of mine, and the girl was not familiar to me. 

I was trying to convince the girl that her husband (not present) was trying to kill her and her daughter.  This stems from an earlier part of my dream where I am paranoid about her husband's behavior and find it eerily similar to a movie where the guy kills his family.

Anyway, while standing there talking I started rising to the sky.  It wasn't a quick lift, but more of a steady pull.  I imagine this being similar to a soul rising to heaven, but I was completely concious of what was going on.  I was scared at first, but told myself there wasn't anything I could do, so I tried to relax.

I floated up and saw a figure.  The figure was Jesus Christ.  He was floating in a soft yellow glow and kind of smiled and waived at me.  I almost immediately began to descend back to Earth.  I became both worried and horrified thinking I was being sent to Hell.  I tried my best to plea for my soul, questioning why I was going to Hell.

As I came to rest in a chair at what was to be my dad's house, I was relieved, but in shock.  I sat there, saying over and over, that I just saw Jesus, and he was real.  At this point I began to question my sanity and wonder if I had some paranoid schitzophrenic disorder or something that causes you to see and believe things that aren't real.

No sooner than the thought left my head, Jesus appeared in the living room.  I was no longer afraid, but curious.  What was happening?  Why was Jesus appearing to me?

He called me over to him and showed me the shirt he was wearing under his robes.  It was white with red lettering and red images.  Not a bright red, more like a pencil thin dark red.  He told me to select an image without a name, and that would be assigned to me.  The image I chose was a series of Greek(maybe) letters that formed an image of a butterfly.

He put his arm around me and told me to hold on.  As we floated up into the clouds, He explained to me that everyone has Faith, some just need to be made aware of it.  Some need to be convinced of their Faith before they believe in it.  I understood what he wanted from me.  He wanted me to help other people find their Faith. 

We continued to float upwards and I brushed his hair away from my face.   It was wavy and very soft.  He told me that I was the last one, that I completed the shirt, and sent me back to the spot of the field where I initially stood.

As I landed, the two people I had been talking too were still there and questioned me about what had happened. I asked if they actually had seen what happened to me, and I could only explain to them that Jesus was real.

While walking back to my house, I wondered if this was just a dream.  I splashed water on my face, laid down and convinced myself that it was real, and I was awake.  That's when I woke up.  Well, I didn't really wake up, but I switched to a different dream.

I've tried to figure out what the dream means from dream dictionaries and Google.  They all generally say something different, but the one similiarity is that the dream means good news.

I don't want some Freudian bullshit interpretation of my dream, I want to know what it really means.  Maybe it doesn't mean anything?  Maybe, and sure, this could be a stretch, but maybe our dreams are how spirits contact and connect to us?

With that being said, yeah, I'm a little afraid to dream right now.   I thought that sharing this would be good for a Sunday.  If you have your own interpretation, I'd like to know what it is.

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