12 April 2009

16 May 06 - The Dating Game

In her many attempts to find a guy for me, Roxann has done more than her share of playing match maker.

The first guy, I honestly wonder what she was thinking.  Maybe she fixed us up so I wouldn't be a virgin anymore.  Well, she succeeded, as this loser was my first.  He was short, cynical, and a lying bastard.  Why did I stay with him for so long?  I think it's because I was young, and when we're young we don't know any better.  My only regret is that I actually had sex with him, and he was my first.  Due to that, I can never forget him, and am always reminded of him when I see those fucking retarded commercials for his Krazy Kustom's detailing shop.

There were a few others, but not as big a deal.  She even fixed me up with some of her ex's.  I guess that's what happens when you all run in the same circle of friends.

She always found a guy, and wanted to hook me up with one of his friends.  Of course I didn't mind, especially when she wanted to fix me up with Quincy. 

He was just the ulimate hottie.  Dark complexion, dark hair, chisled body and blue eyes.  I would have fucked him on the spot he was that fine.  He was also pretty good in bed, but he had some drawbacks.  He was 28 and lived with his parents, he was a HUGE pothead, dumber than a box of rocks, and a felon.  Yeah I tried to look past his shortcomings, but it didn't work out.  Especially since he cheated on me while I was in basic training.

Bless her heart, Roxann has always been looking out for me.  When she had some friends over, she would make sure there was a guy there she thought I'd be interested in.  A few times it ended up being Eddie.

She introduced me to Eddie when he had a huge party at his house one summer.  There was a bon fire outside and music inside.  When Eddie got really drunk, he became the "crier."  Guess who was picked to go sit with him?  Yeah, yours truely.  Meet one happy, goofy drunk invited to console one sad crying drunk.  Hilarity ensued.  I don't remember much about that night, other than Jason walking through the fire, and Eddie passing out on the tree.

There were a few other nights that I ended up with Eddie, and that was cool, because he's cute, and he's a country boy, so he just doesn't give a fuck.

After my constant badgering of her to fix me up with one of her husbands cop friends, she finally did.  I should learn to keep my fucking mouth shut after this experience because that's when I met Josh.

Yes, the infamous Gallatin County sheriff deputy whom I last lived with.  He was cute, built like a line backer with pretty blue eyes.  The first couple of nights we had a lot to talk about, he was sweet and totally reeled me in like a sucker fish.  After a while we stopped having things to talk about, he only complained about work, and didn't seem to care much about me.

I started noticing his sick habits such as wiping his shitty ass and throwing the toilet paper in the trash and not flushing it down the shitter.  He didn't seem to mind the smell of a dead mouse until I pointed out that it smelled of sour ass in the hallway.  He wasn't much on taking out the trash as he left the contents of the refridgerator sit upon the counter until I posted a note, asking him to throw it out.

Needless to say, things didn't work out.   They ended badly, but I don't regret how things happened.  I just need to learn my lesson from that and not have Roxann fix me up with guys anymore. LOL 

I don't blame her, I actually thank her for trying so hard to find someone for me.  I guess we've both been wrong about guys we thought we could trust.  Hopefully we'll both have better luck our next time around.

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