12 April 2009

29 Aug 06 - That's what you get for having sex!!!

My Freshman year of college I had a steady boyfriend.  He went to UK and I went to MSU.  We would visit each other on weekends and have all the secks.  One day I started to feel kind of ill and had that burning sensation when I urniated. 

Now, why is it called "sensation?"  It doesn't feel very sensational when you are pissing razor blades.  I went to the student health center and they told me I had a UTI.  For the dudes, that means Urinary Tract Infection.

Being sexually inexperienced I didn't know that if you didn't urinate after having sex, you could end up with a UTI.  Once my dad told me that you get UTI's from having sex, my sister told me to try and take a piss before and afterwards to prevent such occurances from happening again.

No biggie.  I learnt my lesson and had very few UTI's since.  Until two weeks ago.  Yeah, I was lazy and tired, didn't get up to pee after I had secks.  I paid the price with the frequent urge to urinate and eventually pissing teh blood.

I called my Dr. to see if they could call me in some drugz and in the meantime got some OTC Uristat.  Thank GOD for the genius who let this become over the counter! 

After taking a few doses of the Uristat, I was fine except for the Fanta colored orange piss I created.  My doctor's office called back the next day and said they'd call me in some drugs.  Sweet!  I didn't even have to make an appointment!

The only downside with this drug was that I needed to avoid overexposure to the sun. Which I did not do on Saturday causing a ginormous blister on my lip.  It looks like I took one in the mouth from Layla Ali.  Ahh, good times.

I'm trying to cover up my huge herpe with some lipstick and medicine, but I don't think it's working very well.  I can just feel the eyes dart down to my lip cancer and zoom in on it's gnarlyness.  I want to scream, "STOP LOOKING AT IT!"  But I don't.  I kind of lean down a bit to catch their eyes, and pull my upper lip in to hide it from public ridicule. 

I'm supposed to have a date tonight, but won't want to kiss him with my giant face ulcer.  Booo.  Guess we'll just have to fondle one another instead.

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