12 April 2009

19 May - This blog sucks more than your mom.

Today started off to be not so bad, until I got to the bank and the assholes kept me there for 15 minutes in the drive through.  Now, I know it's not McDonalds, but shit.  All I wanted was some money, how fucking hard is it to give it to me?  Then the little prickster asked if I wanted my cash in any certain way.  Yeah, in my fucking pocket so I can get my late ass to work!

As if that wasn't bad enough, the entire drive to work I was surrounded by people who drove with their heads in their asses.  Now, I don't know how comfortable that would be, but I know they can't drive for shit with their head crammed in their anus.

I planned on blogging some worthless shit during lunch, but when I popped across the street, the fuckmothering library was closed.  What the shit is that about?  It's not a holiday to my knowledge.  Maybe they closed so all the book nerds could go see the DaVinci Code or something?

There was a small light at the end of my shit filled tunnel when someone in rep support tried to warm up a taco or some other toxic substance from Taco Hell..erm...Bell, in the microwave, left it in the foil wrapper, and started a fire.

I don't think a fire was actually produced, but an ass nasty smell was produced and the fire alarm was set off.  Since the fire department is just down the way, we got to hang outside the building until they made sure the microwave was secure. 

Either the firemen were really fucking bored, or they were trying to make up for last time, when they didn't show up and our building actually was on fire, but 3 fire engines rolled up this time.  Unfortunately none of the firefighters were cute.  Fuck!

Anyway, after work, I paid the man, chatted with a friend, and headed to my temple of grace, Old Navy.  Aww yeah bitches!  I stayed until closing time.

The best part of shopping at O.N. is all the cool shit I got and spent less than $100.  I would have gotten more, but unfortuately, they didn't have the khaki shorts I love so much in my big girl size.  Discriminate much?  I didn't see any cute shorts over a size 12. 

My ass will NOT fit in a size 12.  I actually heard my butt cheeks scream at me when I attempted to slide a pair on. "Bitch!  You crazy!  Get that shit off me!"  I swear, I heard that...

I could have gotten some pants or capris, but I've got plenty of those, I wanted shorts!  I guess I'll have to wait until it gets hot for them to carry the fat girl sizes.  They had plenty of size 6's though.  What the shit?  I don't think I've ever been a size 6.  Skinny bitches.  Ya'll are so lucky.

At least I got some shirts that fit, and shoes!  Let's not forget the shoes!  I stocked up on the $3.50 flip flops in a variety of colors, and got a cool pair that was a bit more, but worth it.  I even bought a belt I will attempt to transform into a necklace.  Shut up!  It'll be cute.  I'm trendy.  

After I left the temple of threads, I headed home and realized I was too fucking tired to make myself dinner.  I had planned the entire drive to stop at KFC and get some chicken.  When I got there the shit hole was closed!  What the fuck?!  It's barely 10pm!  

So, I did the next best thing.  I called informaiton and got the # to Applebee's, ordered some boneless wings and went to Blockbuster to get some movies. 

I finally got home about an hour ago.  I'll be spending my weekend reading the DaVinci Code, since I'm a "read the book before seeing the movie" kinda gal.  I also got a few good movies, at least I hope they're good, to watch.

I told you lot this blog sucked!  You should really start listening to me more.  Honestly.  No one ever listens to me! 

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