12 April 2009

15 June 06 - Modernized Old Fashioned Values

Has relating on the internet caused us to devalue human emotion?  Sure, we all have jobs, or go in public which forces us to interact socially with others, but has the internet given us the ability to be crass when we otherwise wouldn't?  Maybe I should just stick to the topic at hand and write about my feelings on this in another blog...

With a lot of things going on around me, I can't help but notice how fucked up things are nowadays. More specifically, how skewed people's values have become.  I'm not saying that everyone should have the 50's mindset of how relationships should go, but it seems that one main characteristic missing in even the most casual of relationships is respect.

I have noticed a lack of respect stemming from each side of the relationship spectrum. I don't know if people my age are just tired of dating and won't put up with the bullshit we would have when we were younger, or if we've just lessened our expectations of the opposite sex. We've become so removed from society and so selfish, that we have forgotten how to tend to other's needs and wants.

Communication is an important part in a relationship.  I know of a lot of relationships that have died because the couple never talked.  If they did have a conversation, it quckly became a fight.  If you can't have normal conversation, things won't work out.  You should be able to talk about anything, good or bad.

We should be considerate to each other, especially when discussing their appearance.  It's always nice to pay a compliment.  Not only does it feel good to pay a compliment, it's uplifting to receive one.  It's also considerate to let someone know if you are running late for a date, or you have to change or cancel plans at the last minute.

I believe in honesty.  The more open and honest you are to each other, the closer you become, and the more comfortable you feel about talking to one another regarding any matter.

If I can't trust you, why am I even wasting my time with you?  What is the point of lying about shit if it only causes pain and deceit?  I just don't get it.  Maybe I don't understand lying to someone you could be involved with, because I am very honest and open about who I am.  I don't have anything to hide, but if there is something I don't want you to know just yet, I will wait until the right time to tell you.  I won't lie about it.

I used to lie all the time.  I was a good liar.  I could look my dad straight in the eyes and tell the boldest of all lies, and he'd believe me.  Because it's not a lie if you believe it, right? LOL

Then as I got older, the lies I told started making me feel bad, like I had a conscience or something.  Then I got tired of being lied to.  So, at least if I'm honest, hopefully I'll get honesty in return, even though it doesn't always work that way.

I think that men and women each have their rolls in a relationship.  Sure that may be a bit old fashioned, but that's just how I am.  I think that when out on a date, a man should pay.  I don't mean he has to pay for everything, all the time, just when you first start dating, it's a good feeling to know that he's not a sleeze.  I am the kind of person that will always offer to pay.

I don't mind taking care of the check or footing the bill, every once and awhile.  It's nice to share the financial burden of dating, not put it all on the shoulders of one person.  I find it very sweet if I pay for dinner, and the guy hides a $20 in my purse or something.  While that isn't necessary, it is very sweet.

But if I'm the one who always ends up paying for everything, and he always wants to go out, fuck that!  I'm going to get tired of going out with you, because I can't afford it!  If you don't have any money, how about you suggesst we stay in and watch a movie instead of going out?

I think a woman should be the nurturer of the relationship.  She should be supportive and nurturing.  I love to cook for my man.  I feel really good when I'm able to cook for him, kind of like a sense of self worth.

She should also keep her man sexually satisfied.  With my conversations with many men, a majority of the married ones often cheat because their wife isn't interested in having sex often or at all with them.  Some don't even participate, but just lie there.

How fucking boring is that?  Now, I'm not saying it's okay for a man to cheat, but if their women were more active in keeping their sex life interesting, men would cheat less.  Of course there are other factors in why someone cheats, but this is just one thing I am touching on.

The woman should be open to try new things sexually with her partner.  Keep things exciting and interesting.  Once things get boring, the partner starts to look elsewhere for satisfaction.

I don't know of many guys that would object to their woman being sexually adventurous, but there are some who just aren't as interested in sex as their partner.  They should be willing to take that extra step to keep the sexual relationship interesting as well.

Be selfless and thoughtful.  I don't know about you, but I feel really good when I'm buying something for someone else.  Not only buying, but doing something nice for someone just feels really good, like that feeling you get at Christmas.

I know I love getting my car back with a full tank of gas.  Especially with the price of gas these days!  How awesome is that?  I enjoy doing things for a man that I know he probably hates to do, like cleaning house and doing laundry, especially if he isn't expecting it.

While it may be genetically impossible for a man to be romantic, I appreciate little romantic gestures that may not even seem romantic.  A card.  A simple card that is funny or a note that says how much you enjoy our time together, I find that flattering.  An offer to do something like cook dinner is very kind and greatly apprecaited, especially if he can cook.

Granted, the man's idea of cooking is usually with a grill, it's still great and the thought that I love. I think it's sweet if a guy offers to give me a massage.  I'm usually the masseur, so I've only experienced a massage very few times.  I am so used to giving massages, it's kind of a habit if I'm sitting next to the guy, that I start to massage his neck.

I find it comforting when the man takes the upper hand in decision making.  One thing that I hate the most is indecisiveness.  You can't decide where to eat, because you don't care, and he doesn't care.  Just take control and pick!  The same thing with movies or other things.  It's about being in control, and showing confidence.  If I don't like something you decide, I will let you know.

More often than not, I will agree with whatever you decide, because I'm a pleaser, that's what I do.  I'm not saying I will agree with everything because that's boring, but come on, don't be difficult, that's irritating.

I could be wrong about all of this.  After all, I'm still single.

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